crying it out at bedtime

It's time to reevaluate Lucy's sleeping habits. They are horrible. I am exhausted, worn out, and look like I'm carrying too large carry-on bags under my eyes. They are black carry-on bags too... if I do not have have concealer on my face, I look like I have two black eyes.

Tonight we tried crying it out. I know I've visited this topic before, and I appreciate all the tips/tricks/advice that everyone has, but I have to post this for my own reflection. I hope to read this post in a couple weeks and realize that her waking up every 45 to 60 minutes throughout the night is a thing of the past.

Crying it out sucks. There is no other way to put it. It is probably the hardest thing I've had to do as a parent to date. I am still not 100% convinced that this is a good idea. Hearing her scream and cry for me literally makes me sick to my stomach and so anxious I could hyperventilate. Maybe it is the fact that she's our first child and we are cautious not to give her deep ingrained psychological problems.. maybe it's just that I hate to hear her cry.. maybe I am just spoiling her even more rotten by the day.

Tonight was our first night of trying this "behavioral sleep pattern." I'm not sure how it's going to go the rest of the week. Jon is out of town, and I don't know if I have the strength to sit on the couch and listen to my sweet baby's voice get scratchier by the second.

I wish babies were born with the ability to sleep 8-10 hours a night.